7 Steps To Stress Management

Her eyes had deep, dark circles. She told me, "I haven't slept in weeks." I asked her why. She told me that was because she "was all stressed out." It was stress from her job and stress from her kids. She was stressed out from driving an hour each way to work and her boss was "driving her crazy." You could see that her stress was eating her alive.

People come to me all the time with similar stories, of how stress is negatively affecting their lives. Stress is a killer. It has been linked to everything from headaches and digestive problems to reproductive ailments and even heart disease. Stress has been shown to age us both mentally and physically and over time can kill us.

When you are stressed your body releases stress hormones. These hormones can cause inflammation to your cardiovascular system and, if left unchecked, can affect your immune system, metabolism and other body systems. Bruce McEwen, PhD head of the neuroendocrinology lab at Rockefeller University says, "Normally, in small amounts, these substances help the body adapt, but when they are chronically elevated they cause wear and tear."

Let's look at the categories of stress. The first type is acute or short term stress. This is known as the flight or fight reaction where the brain produces chemicals that tell the body to speed up, making it perform more effectively. This is the type of stress you'll experience when another car pulls out in front of you causing you to hit your brakes suddenly. This is also known as distress.

The positive form of acute stress is known as eustress. This is the stress you experience when you receive a promotion at work, get married or buy a new house. These events are desirable but, just like distress, eustress can be equally taxing on the body, and if added together with other stressors can have negative results on our health.

The second type of stress is chronic or long-term stress. Although it can be triggered by the same type of stressors as acute stress, this type of stress can cause physical problems. Chronic stress occurs when we can't, or won't, let go of stress.

So how can we reduce our stress? Here are seven ways to cope with stress.

1. Recognize Some Stress is Good

Some stress is good. The stress an athlete feels right before she bursts off the starting blocks. The stress you feel to make a deadline that will get you that promotion you've been wanting. The energy you get when you see an old friend or a lover. This stress gives you that burst of energy that enhances your performance at just the right moment. Used wisely, this kind of stress will allow you to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most. Make stress your friend!

2. Avoid Stress Infected Individuals

Overly stressed people are infected with stress germs and they spread them around indiscriminately. Soon, before you know it, you are infected too!

If you know that Charlie is always stressed at the first of the month when his reports are due, avoid him! If Sara is constantly complaining about how busy she is and how her kids are driving her crazy, avoid her! Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Model Calm People

Modeling is a way of making yourself into the type of person you want to be. So model calm people, people who seem to naturally handle stress well. When people around you are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What are they saying to others? What are they saying to themselves? Have they been trained in stress management? What experiences have they had? You might watch them or, better yet, sit them down and talk with them. Ask them how they cope with the things that seem to stress everyone else out. Learn from the best and model what they do.

4. Breath, Really Breathe

As a martial arts instructor I can assure you, you can't stay calm unless you control your breathing. When new students would start to spar (fight in a very controlled manner) they would inevitably hold their breath and soon their faces would be red, they'd be sweating profusely and, within minutes, they'd be out of breath. Does this sound like you under stress? Well the good news is you can trick your body into relaxing simply by using deep breathing techniques. Focus on bringing your breaths into the bottom of your stomach and then push the air out completely. Breathe in slowly for a count of four, hold your breath for five counts and then breathe out for a count of eight. Repeat the 4-5 -8 breathing for a minute or so and your heart rate will slow, your sweaty palms will dry and things will start to feel more normal.

If you would like more information about learning breath control, see a qualified martial arts instructor or yoga teacher. I teach Tai Chi and other breathing arts so if you're in San Diego give me a call. In addition to helping you with your breathing, these types of activities can definitely help you reduce your stress levels.

5. Cancel Stress Provoking Thoughts

Do you sometimes hear yourself saying, "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Then, when you look back on it all a few days later, you find you stressed yourself for no reason? Sure, we all have. Most of these types of things never happen. So why waste all your energy worrying needlessly?

Now this isn't saying don't think problems through. Good planning means thinking about different possibilities and then deciding on the best course of action. But once you've made your decision, see it through and trust that if another decision needs to be made you can make it.

These types of thoughts give you F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) If you find yourself being tangled up in a stress knot by these types of thoughts you can gain control. See them for what they are and make the decision to focus on what you want, rather on these types of fears.

Since many of us have been programmed to focus on the negative rather than the positive you might want to try meditation or hypnosis. These types of activities can help you learn to control your focus. If you are in the San Diego area, give me a call. Stress management is one of the things that Total Mind Therapy can definitely help with.

6. Know What Sets You Off

We all have different trigger points. Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines, tight budget, kids grades, traffic jams. My heart rate is racing just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Is it one project that causes more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, because once you know what the cause is, you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to talk to your kid's teacher? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Take Care of Yourself

Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our bodies and minds. If you only get five hours of sleep a night you double your chance of dying of a heart attack. The same goes for eating fast food and forgetting to exercise. Just like you car needs good fuel, you need good food for your body to run properly. Just like your car needs regular maintenance, your body needs exercise to maintain it in good working shape. If you really want to reduce your stress take a good look at your lifestyle because these are things within your control.

So let's review quickly. First remember that some stress is good for you. Second, stay away from the stress infected. Third, find calm people and model their behaviors. Fourth, learn to breathe, really breathe. Fifth, focus on what you want. Sixth, understand the things that cause you to react and, seventh, take care of yourself. There you are, seven easy ways to help you manage stress.

The bad news is that stress is always among us. The good news is you now have some easy methods to cope with it. You can find inner peace. You just have to recognize what blocks its way and then work on removing those blocks, or if you want a fool proof method, you could move to a mountain cave or a deserted island. The choice is always yours.

by Wil Dieck

Stress Management By Relaxation

The method for stress management which I am going to show you below is actually a combination of two methods; a regular deep breathing exercise and Jacobsen's Progressive. Both are proven relaxation exercises and by combining them they function even better. These relaxation techniques can help you reduce tension in your muscles as well as manage the effects of the fight-or-flight response on your body - link when you feel you are about to get overwhelmed by panic. In a situation where you have to perform by thinking clearly under pressure, this relaxing exercise is really great. Here is what you do:

1. Sit down comfortably in a way that enables you to relax.

2. While you focus your body on relaxation take a series (10, 20 or even more) of deep breaths. For each breath you take, try to relax your body even more.

3. Tense up the muscles of both your hands maximally, make a fist and hold this tension for five seconds.

4. From the state of maximum tension, relax your hand's muscles to the state they were in before you tensed them.

5. Focus on your hand muscles and try to relax them even further so that you are as relaxed as possible.

6. Repeat step 3 to 5 but instead of your hands muscles, now concentrate on the following parts of your body in sequenze: your feet, your legs and tighs, your arms, your breast and stomach, your back and finally your neck and head's muscles.

The idea is that you'll probably be able to relax your muscles more by tensing them first, than you would if you just relaxed your muscles directly. You can also repeat the deep breathing steps in between the tensing / relaxation of the muscles of your different body parts.

Author:Terje Ellingsen

Herbal Stress Management Rule: Regular Exercise, Healthy Diet!

The very concept of herbal stress management, reveals one fact - inevitability. Well, come back to Nature! Man, you have no other alternative!

Many individuals and institutions have taken up to the herbal path for stress management, with remarkable success.

Well, there is none without stress today! But the management of stress skills may be different.

A major avalanche starts with minor disturbances! Similarly a minor symptom, which you are likely to ignore, might be the cause of a major stress in the offing! Be vigilant and act well in time. Prolonged stress is nothing but a serious disease. A person with stress cannot give his best output in any area of activity. You could not derive joy in your day-to-day activities. You would not feel like participating in social activities and functions. You may take to smoking, drinking and even drugs in your efforts to get over stress, but in reality you know well that the remedy is worst than the disease.

A fit, healthy body and a cheerful mind are the assets of an individual. The positive qualities of life come to the forefront again. Try to know and practice correctly the time-tested relaxation techniques: breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, sincere prayers, listen or practice music, read a good novel, participate in a social or spiritual program, talk to the people with whom you enjoy talking, view a humorous TV episode, and the list can go on and on…Nature has created many avenues to enable you top manage the stress in the most natural way-the herbal way!

My dear sir, when was it that you had a laughter session? Did it cost anything? Laugh, to your heart’s content! Laugh without any reason! You will feel your nerves giving up tension.

Are you disciplined? Do you have a fixed time in going to bed and getting up? These are not unimportant matters. Whose cause you are serving by watching the late night movies and going to bed at 1:00 PM. Your family doctor’s?

Remember the golden rule: Regular exercise and healthy diet! And if you don’t follow the rules, please do not brag that you have undergone a herbal stress management course. Yours is only verbal stress management!

Author:Ashish Jain

Stress Management Ideas

Are you somebody who always seems to be under stress? Do you worry most of the time and feel that you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? For the first twenty-two years of my life, I was constantly down and depressed and used to feel very sorry for myself. This article describes how I managed to break free of this depression to have a fairly stress-free life.

Growing up I felt rather hard done by, that life had not dealt me a good hand of cards. These were the reasons I felt sorry for myself:

I had a speech impediment, known as a stutter
I have a bald patch on my head the size of a ten pence piece
Due to comfort eating, I was overweight
I am quite short for a male at five foot fourSome of the above you may think are quite trivial issues, however for me especially as a teenager they caused me a lot of stress.

Stuttering was the major thorn in my side causing me many problems and traumas. I suffered with this speech impediment for eighteen years before finally managing to beat the problem. I now help other people to achieve fluency.

At the age of twenty-two I started to read a lot of books about positive thinking and also started to take more of an interest in world affairs. This gave me a huge wake up call as it made me realise that I was actually dealt a very good set of cards. There are not many countries I would rather have been born in, the things above that I felt were so terrible are in fact very trivial compared to people who live in parts of Africa, as an example.

I had stressed so much that by the age of twenty-one my hair had already started to turn grey. A colleague at work was also to have a huge affect on my life without him even knowing it. He was a man (I will call him Peter) who had many of his own issues. Peter had learning difficulties, had what I call the shakes, did not have many friends and did not have a girlfriend in the six years that I knew him. I would meet Peter for lunch on most days and he would always have a beaming smile on his face. One day I thought to myself, what have you got to smile about? I then decided that if he could smile then so could I.

I now am very happy with who I am, and if people do not like me, I don't care. Life is so much easier now!

Author:Steve Hill

Stress Management: 10 Tips For Working Mothers

In my practice as a hypnotherapist, I have many clients who come to me for stress management. Many of those clients are working mothers who fret about the demands on their time: children, husband or partner, paid work and unpaid household chores all pull these women in different directions. The day-to-day, constant small stressors leave them inadequate physical and emotional resources to deal with life's BIG stressors, such as personal and family health issues, financial worries, etc. Frequently, these women lose any sense that they are entitled to some "me" time, and therein lies part of the solution to stress relief.

Typically, one of the things that I teach these clients is self-hypnosis. There are quite a few self-hypnosis techniques that anyone can learn in order to manage stress. But I also give my clients many practical tips to give themselves some stress relief.

Here are 10 tips for stress management that I frequently recommend:

1. Aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Our bodies do so much restorative work while we sleep, and it's harder to deal with emotional and physical stress when we don't have enough sleep. Additionally, nights of uninterrupted sleep are better than nights of interrupted sleep. So if you have very young children who wake you up each night (for feedings, diaper changes, etc.), try to share those duties with your husband or partner so that you get some nights of uninterrupted sleep. And don't feel guilty about napping when you get the chance! The energetic demands on your body as a woman juggling numerous roles are enormous. The more you can cater to those energetic needs, the more resources you will have for dealing with life's annoyances and real stressors.

2. Prioritize and organize errands to minimize the running around time you have to do. You may need to plan a "route" that takes you to the post office, the dry cleaners, etc. once a week. And don't fret if you forget to bring something with you – 99% of the time, it can wait until your next trip. Also, minimize the number of times you go to the supermarket by stocking up during fewer trips.

3. Take 10 to 15 minutes each day to just sit by yourself and let your mind float. Turn the phones off, if possible. You can also listen to a relaxation CD or a CD of your favorite music. Don't stress if you can't achieve the "quiet mind" Buddhist monks can achieve. Just giving yourself some "down time" each day is a very important stress management strategy. Treat this down time like you would treat brushing your teeth – as something you wouldn't dream of skipping! You don't have to necessarily do it at the same time each day, as long as you do it. Don't feel guilty about giving yourself this time. Not only do you deserve it, it will keep you emotionally and physically healthier and better able to give yourself some stress relief.

4. In the back of your mind, keep some sort of mental scale for judging how stressful something is. I typically tell clients to think of some minor annoyance, and then think of the worst thing imaginable (or at least something truly BIG and stressful), and put each thing on opposite ends of the scale. Then when you feel stressed, ask yourself which end of the scale the stressor is closer to. Most things fall much closer to the minor annoyance end of the scale, and this helps keep things in perspective. Perspective is a crucial tool for stress management.

5. Keep in mind a sense of your physical and emotional energetic resources as a discrete quantity. No one is a superhuman; everyone has limits. When you feel stressed about something, or have the urge to react to something, ask yourself, "Is this worth spending my life's energy on?". Very often, the answer is "No," and you can move on without wasting your time and energy on something that doesn't amount to much.

6. Learn the art of limited procrastination. For example, if a letter from your insurance company arrives in the mail, and it tells you your car insurance premium is going up 300% in 60 days, put the letter aside. Very often, these sorts of things resolve themselves or become moot. You might get a letter in 3 days that says, "Whoops! We made a mistake!" and you would have gotten stressed over nothing. Obviously, you don't want to procrastinate about everything, because that can lead to more stress. But when something seems to demand your immediate attention, let it "age" for a couple of days. Or hand it to your husband, partner or other trusted person to take care of it. Stress management is made easier when we are willing to let others help us. There’s no need to be Super Woman!

7. Plan nights out with your husband or partner or friend, so you two can have adult time together. Do this once a week or once every two weeks – whatever works for you. Then you have something special to look forward to, which makes it easier to deal with minor stresses and the endless demands on your time.

8. Give your current work schedule some thought. You may ultimately decide that you want to keep or that you must keep your work schedule the same, but at least you will have given it some thought with regard to what's healthiest for you to do at this time in your life. Sometimes we get caught up in the routine of everyday life, and we don’t always take the time to consider whether this routine is the optimal one for us. When we engage in stress management strategies, we need to consider all aspects of our lives, including those that seem more or less set in stone, such as our work situation.

9. Humor is a wonderful tool for stress management. Get some funny DVDs (movies, animated TV shows, etc.) that you, alone or with someone else, can watch in small chunks of time.

10. Exercise is also great for stress relief. It’s a good way to blow off steam and get endorphins (feel-good hormones) flowing. If your life is so frantic that you hardly have time to think, no less exercise, just keep it in mind or start in small ways right now. Some of my clients build a library of exercise DVDs, which are great, because most of the DVDs have small segments (15 to 20 minutes) that can be done without taking a big chunk out of your day. Some of my other clients take a yoga class or a pilates class once a week, and it gives them something to look forward to. Exercise should be something you do as part of your overall “taking care of me” strategy.

If you implement some or all of these stress management tips, you will find that your day-to-day stress level can be significantly reduced. That will leave you with the maximum resources for dealing with life's "big stressors."

Author:Loretta Sernekos

5 Relaxation Techniques For Stress Management

There are a variety of relaxation techniques that can be used to manage stress. In some cases they are used in conjunction with each other to make the process easier or more effective. The underlying principle behind these techniques is to change your mental and physical states from one of tension to one of tranquility. Here are a list of popular techniques :

1. Meditation - meditation has been recognized as a way to alter your mental state for hundreds of years and is well documented in many eastern religions. Meditation is effectively trying to think of nothing. It is like powering off your mind or brain and letting all the cares, worries and stress fade into nothing. You sit in a comfortable spot in a peaceful room and try to think of nothing, the void or emptiness . You will find this extremely hard. Odd or random thoughts will start popping into your mind. As you continue to concentrate on nothingness you will find that the random thoughts tend to recede. You will get fewer and fewer thoughts and a calmness will enter your body and mind as time passes. You might eventually get to the stage where the only thought you have is about thinking about nothing. Many people use chants or concentrate on one thing, like a part of the body, to help all the mind chatter recede. At the end of a meditation session you will feel energized and quite happy.

2. Relaxing music/subliminal relaxation recordings. - music is a simple way to relax. It can be as straightforward or complex as you choose to make it. Simply put on a music cd from your favorite artist. You can have it playing in the background as you do other things or you can focus all your attention on it by just sitting in a comfortable chair an listening to it. This can help you take your mind off of all the stressful experience that you have faced or will be facing. This can relieve stress. If you are more interested in relaxation music there are a number of specially created tapes which feature relaxing sounds or sounds of nature. They are more suitable to having as background music and the aim is that they will soothe your senses and help you to relax. Another form of relaxation music are spoken word relaxation techniques that help you to relax by following there instructions. This can also involve subliminal recordings whereby music plays and the spoken word cannot be audibly heard but on a subliminal level.

3. Physical techniques can help to calm the mind but more importantly the body.

* Deep breathing is a popular method for relaxation. It is very simple to do and can be done anywhere. It is thought that deep breathing bring extra oxygen into the body and stimulates the production of endorphins into the bloodstream which have a calming effect. Deep breathing also forces the diaphragm to expand and contract more than normal and this can gently press upon vital organs like the liver, lungs and heart. This has the effect of massaging the vital organs which is thought to be good for the organs.

* Progressive muscular relaxation works by pinpointing one group of muscles at a time in the body. For example, you could select the hands. You start by tensing the muscles of the hands by clenching a fist. You hold this for a few minutes and then let it go and relax the muscles. This relaxing effect is good for the muscles. You work through the whole body doing this technique until all the muscle groups are relaxed. This technique requires some practice as it is often hard to isolate muscle groups and know how to tense and relax these particular muscle groups without tensing and relaxing other muscle groups at the same time.

* Relaxation response is similar to meditation in many ways but is more focused on the body rather than any spiritual element. It was devised by Dr. Herbert Benson. The aim is to start at the feet and work your way up to the head. Sit comfortably in a quiet place and concentrate on relaxing the muscles in your feet. Gradually imagine and then feel the muscles relaxing. They may feel warm as your concentration continues to focus on them. Once you feel that they are relaxed move onto the calves and so on until you reach the head. Focus on each body part and try to relax. Let all other thoughts, except the body part in question, fall away.

1. Yoga combines element of all of the above techniques and can be a way to de-stress and relax. Yoga concentrates on breathing and a series of movements which are aimed at stretching the various parts of the body. Yoga can involve meditation or can be seem as purely a physical exercise. In both cases the body can reduce stress and relax by practicing yoga.

2. Aromatherapy is the use of scents and fragrances to change the mental state. Many extracts of plants, herbs and woods can have a relaxing effect on the body which can reduce stress. Scents of lavender, chamomile and geranium are some that are believed to reduce stress. You will find many shops that sell a variety of aromatherapy products. Many will give advice on how to use the product and what the aim of the product is. The product is usually a solution or oil that you heat up. As the oil heats up the fragrances pass through the room and induce a state of relaxation in the mind and body. Again, aromatherapy can be combined with relaxing music to heighten the state that you wish to achieve. Meditation is often conducted with incense to help focus the mind.

Author : Adrian Whittle

Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management

A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said,

"I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those who have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down and doesn't hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.

"I have struggled with these feelings many times," he continued. "It is as if there are two wolves inside me: One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and doesn't take offense when no offense was intended. He will fight only when it is right to do so and in the right way. But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The smallest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked

"Which one wins?"

The grandfather solemnly replied

"The one I feed."

Anger is human

Anger is a naturally ocurring emotion that in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It's what we do with our anger that makes the difference.

We can either feed it and make it worse, or we can work with it and handle it in a way that makes healthy sense. It's always a choice. .

How to feed anger

Play the blame game.

Finding, placing and dramatizing blame is one of the greatest sources of creating and feeding anger. Blame talks like this,

"It's someone else's fault. He should not have done it, and I must make him pay for it."

One of the many downsides of this is that the blame game takes so much time and energy, leaving you with little for the rest of your life.

Play the enflame game.

Once you are angry, you have two choices: Defuse your anger or enflame it. The danger with enflaming your anger is that it quickly becomes a habit and you forget it's a choice.

Enflaming requires nurturing anger by running the injustice over and over in your mind. Another way to do this is to tell as many people as you can about how you feel until you get a number of folks on your side. They become assistant enflamers.

Blaming and enflaming fit dangerously well. The more you blame, the more enflamed you become. The more enflamed you become, the more you find to blame.

How to feed healthy feelings

Play the diffuse game.

Pausing to ask yourself a few questions helps reduce anger. For example: How much do I enjoy this feeling? How strongly do I want to feel this anger? How long do I want to feel it?

Anger can prevent us from thinking. Pausing long enough to answer these questions allows you to re-engage your brain and decide how you want to handle your anger.

Accept that not everything in life can or needs to be set right.

Many times when we try to set things right, we just muck it up that much more. Sometimes we just have to release it and move on. Treat it like the dust it is, shake it off your shoes and walk on into the rest of your life.

Author : Jeff Herring